Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Hospitals, Boobs and Gunk

My mom Helen got out of the hospital today. She was very worried about her boob. SHe had cancer, had a breast removed and just got 4 new bras. The New bras may not seem like a big deal, but they are for holding Prothesis. Her Fake boob.
When in ER, they had her get into a robe. She wanted to know if the Tech guy wanted to hold her boob.
HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOVING MY BOOB?...All in good fun. She has been known...under the influence of wine, to ask (repeatedly) party guests if they want to see her boob. She then TAKES it OUT of its little bra carrier, and hands it to the unsuspecing dope. you can tell all your buddies you held someones BOOB in your hand !!

My Friend that works with the elderly had a different take on mom's "do more things screw more guys" comment. She said that sometimes people in early dementia revert back to saying things that they did when they were much younger. WHo knows.
For now, I'm glad she is home.
Her disater. She can't keep it up. I tried to clean for a couple hours, barely made a dent. I threw out ANY food on the counters and kitchen that was there, just tried to make paths so she doesn't trip. Its' frightning, I don't like going there and neiter do the kids. Hub is AFRAID to go there as she immediatly starts asking him to "Do" things...fix things, move things...its very difficult to relax in SO MUCH FILTH and clutter.
We've gone the route with cleaners. They stole her blind. (in simply cleaning up the kitchen she had cash in several places). My sister and I gutted GUTTED out her basement a few years ago....within a few counldn't even tell. We had a builder come in and Add a wall so she couldn't fall down the basement stairs. She was PISSED.
Her basement has Bats. WHen I was a kid, Bats would fly all over the house, swooping and squeeking with their sonar all over. One time, there were THREE of them in my bedroom.
My brother, thinking my hamper was the Pisser...PEED all over my clothes and my cool Diamond cut out swade boots. THEN he went to get my mom, and they Caught them in a garbage bag, stomped on two, and we kept one for show and tell for a few days.
"Nothing says White trash more then bringing a bat to school for Show and Tell".
The Hospital, GRATIOT MEDICAL CENTER in Alma sucked. The nurses were good. However, like with the food trays. Patients have to Call in for their own food. MY MOM always "forgot" Three times I had to order her food--I spoke to the nurses about it...
One gave me the Telephone number so I could call the kitchen from home!!! HELLO isn't THAT patient care????

1 comment:


As an only of a father with early altzheimers, I feel for you. It's tough when our parents get older. Have to say, though, the boob situation is funny, and I can only hope to have that sense of humor if I was in the same situation. Can't imagine that I would, but age softens us, relaxes us (without effexor and lexopro). Anyway, white trash show and tell! Ha- you could do stand up comedy with that. Your teacher must have been dying.
Back to the charter school, work and those wonderful students. I think I'm going to puke.