Thursday, November 30, 2006

Cant miss this

Faithful readers know That I LOVE Friedrich Nietzsche quotes. THey always STOP and make me think.
WELL I just found a RANDOM Generator The Nietzsche Family Circus pairs a randomized Family Circus cartoon with a randomized Friedrich Nietzsche quote. Refresh the page to see a new comic and share your favorites by clicking permalink.
Today's Picks
Thursday, November 30th

The sight of the ugly makes men bad and gloomy.

Here's a GREAT quote from Nietzsche: "I think I"m too sarcastic to believe in myself" The cartoon is GREAT that pairs with this.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Dance with God

I read the following on a recent blog-o-rama. It was a link from the Crummy Church sign sight.
I love the idea...of dancing with God. Somehow My ex fundamental self is cringing with the idea of the intimacy of it.
To be able to HOLD HIM within my grasp? Is that possible?
To feel HIs breath upon my neck? Wow.

I am loving the imagery of God, being like a girlfriend, and holding your long hair of the way so you don't get puke on it. I"m NOT trying to be irrevrent. You KNOW a True friend will hold your hair for you. A Real friend, will tell you your new dance moves are silly.

This is an entirely new side thought I've had of God. To move - to the same music, in a beautiful artistic dance. Wow. To weave oneself in the same path. To be graceful, with one another. To sense His pushing me back, leading me, without haveing to say anything.
Will others be watching me Dance With God? Will I know the steps well enought to just follow along? Will I trust Him to lead me? Not Trip me up? Can he dance intimately with others while He dances with me? I think the answer to all these Yes.

I think I'll start with a Waltz.
Dance with God
Dance with God

God asked: "May I have this dance?" I replied: "My Lord, I don’t dance well." God answered, "Don’t worry, I’ll lead." I made the excuse, "But . . . You don’t understand, I’m fickle and have a short attention span . . . " God listened and replied, “I’m patient and enduring." I stuttered, "But, I’m scared, selfish, ugly, crude, and . . ." God insisted, "I love you and I’ll take a chance . . . I will lead and we will dance together . . . I love you, will you dance with me?"

I wish I would have said it...
Dance with God

Moral incongruency, which is a term that I often use, covers a lot of ground. And it’s something that I think of in my life quite a bit. Sometimes it’s hard to see past our own idea of integrity and to objectively view ourselves through God’s eyes. Fortunately, God looks at us with grace.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Can You Pass 3rd Grade?

ADDICTING!!! Meaningless relaxation!! BE FORWARNED!!

When you have a spare moment and need to check your "memory bank" -

Click here:

YOu have XX number of time to place all the State in their proper spot.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Clean up Clean Up Everybody do their share

Wow. I feel really good about what was done on the outside of our house today. The front of the house has all the "white trash" stuff picked up. Even tho Garbage day isn't until Monday, we put it all out now. The Gliding machine, the box of moldy books, a bunch of leaves, clothes, etc. I swept up a bunch of glass that had been there, WIlliam and Don took tons of stuff out to the fire pit to be burned.

I got a couple Dr. Suess books out of the garage for Joy..she is WANTING CHAPTER books!! It's so different the difference in kids. WIlliam, taught himself to read at 3, Helena didn't WANT to read until she was 8, and Now doing great in 1st grade, age six.

There are a bunch..a gaggle, a goggle, a Waddle? of turkeys in the back field, looking pretty happy they escaped the cooker!

Planning on taking a nap, taking a shower which I haven't done yet today, and Lori and Brad and kids are coming over tonight.

Thursday, November 23, 2006 ye thankful

I'm overwhelmed with grace and Thankfulness. I have been showered with love from my Church family, I am alive, My kids are great....I"m not in pain. I'm not even going to say I wish I was working. I know I'm not strong enough yet.

Reminds me of the Doxology: Praise God from whom all blessing flow...Praise him all creatures Here below...Praise Father Son and Holy Ghost...

"Oh I wanna be a Clone"

I've gone through so much other stuff
That walking down the aisle was tough
But now I know it's not enough -
I Want To Be A Clone.
I asked the Lord into my heart.
They said that that's the way to start,
But now you've got to play the part.
I Want To Be A Clone.

Be a clone and kiss conviction goodnight.
Cloneliness is next to godliness - RIGHT!
I'm grateful that they showed the way
'Cause I could never know the way
To serve him on my own -
I Want To Be A Clone.

They told me that I'd fall away
Unless I followed what they say;
Who needs the Bible anyway?
I Want To Be A Clone.
Their language, it was new to me,
But "Christianese" got through to me;
Now I can speak it fluently.
I Want To Be A Clone.

Be a clone . . .

"Send in the clones......"
(Uh, I kinda wanted to tell some of my friends and people about it,
you know?)
You're still a babe, you have to grow,
Give it twenty years or so.
'Cause if you want to be one of his,
Gotta act like one of US!

Be a clone . . .

So now I see the whole design:
My church is an assembly line.
The parts are there, I'm feeling fine.
I Want To Be A Clone.
I've learned enough to stay afloat,
But not so much I rock the boat.
I'm glad they shoved it down my throat -
I Want To Be A Clone!

(Everybody must get cloned

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Farewell, my friend, Farewell...

Written by: Neil Diamond and Alan Lindgren

Hello again, hello
Just called to say 'hello'
I couldn't sleep at all tonight
And I know it's late
But I couldn't wait

Hello, my friend, hello
Just called to let you know
I think about you every night
When I'm here alone
And you're there at home

Maybe it's been crazy
And maybe I'm to blame
But I put my heart above my head
We've been thru it all
And you loved me just the same
And when you're not there
I just need to hear

Hello, my friend, hello
It's good to need you so
It's good to love you like I do
And to feel this way
When I hear you say

Hello, my friend, hello
Just called to let you know
I think about you every night
And I know it's late
But I couldn't wait

TOmorrow...Denise and Joe are packing up what they can take..and leaving. I'm very sad. I feel very bad. Denise is a True friend...but Damn she can hold a grudge. Denise and I were very similar. She has a bigger mouth though and is louder. They were on a balloon mortgage,,,and the mortgage kept increaseing my hundereds every other month. Her husband Joe...doesn't work..hasn't worked, Hopefully WILL work soon tho...but htey are Broke. tHey are getting NO unemployment now...their house is in forclosure and is being sold November siding and roof on it.
Denise...can always make me laugh. SHe is brilliant in People matters. Calls em crazy if they are and a phoney if they are. She is Loyal...until you screw her..then WATCH out.
I dont think she really "gets" Christ completly. We had a very tender time of prayer with them last night.
Lori and I are going over there tomorrow to shovel into garbage bags all the trashe on so on. I am starting to feel very the Scab of the Ryerse's leaving just won't keeps leaking , and bleeding in so many differnt ways.ANd I'm left with a piss stained carpet, sagging floor and nasty bathroom in my heart. I"m very very sad. and I'm sort of surprised at how TERRY+IBLEY sad i am. NOt like i dont have enough to mourn in my life right now.....but NOOOO I gotta pick something else.


Saturday, November 18, 2006

Wiiiiiiiiiii Wiiiiiii

Wii wii Wii all the way home.
For those not in the know...that's the new Nintendo Gaming system. William had been saving money for months (the system is 250)..he saved his bday money...worked jobs for mom etc. This new very "virtual Reality"....we got an extra Wand, so two can play. They were not to release it until 7 tomorrow morning, so we were in for the long haul. I took a small heater, electric blanket etc. I dropped William off at 6, and then went to Lori's for a going away dinner for Denise and Joe. They leave for SC on Tuesday. (Denise is NOT going to be able to get Unemployment from the Reservation, and the house is being sold NOvember 30th).
ANYWAY>>>>>I digress:
How can you say NO to a kid ...when you really think..well gees, We are going to NEED that money to LIVE!!....Anyway...There was a line forming at Wal-mart. This after William called about 10 stores to get their gory details of "release dates". I got a call from him about 8:30 (his friend and mom and dad waited with him for a while so he was not left there alone)....that they were going to re open at midnight. HALELUJAH. I get the "credit" for being a mom that WOULD spend the night ..with out having too. I'm still pretty fragile, and really did not cherish the idea. However..I was certainly able to stay VERY warm with our equipment.
So...we just played golf, bowling and uploaded pics from the camara. It is SOOO cool.

and...I guess I'm cool, cause now William is calling me "gamermom". I like that handle.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I"m falling in love..

Yah..not really the proper thing for a married woman to say is it. Well I"m not very usual I guess ... and I'm getting tired of people guessing they know what is going on with me.
Yes, I am staying with Don because of the kids.

I Suppose this New "affair" as some would call it should be hidden, and done sereptitiously, over coffee and bagels on a side street somewhere. Maybe next to my favorite coffee shop in Saginaw "the Red Eye" next to the tattoo shop.

And no this isn't some rambling about how Jesus is my boyfriend or some whack a doo thing.
When a Married women fesses up to her female friends all atwitter with the juicy tidbits of should certainly have lenghty discussions and secretive phone calls some with Text messages. However..I figured I"d put it out here on the blog and friends ( the very unfortunate few that even bother) can read it on here, from me first. Yes. I am a Married woman with kids, and I'm falling or In love with a Man. A man very different from the man I Married. Of course here is the place that the one that is cheating lists ALL the reasons why the "man they married" is no longer good enough, doesn't care, is always working etc....and what the NEW guy HAS....which in my case is: "He genuinly cares for me for my own long term good", he makes me laugh as the man I married USED to make me laugh", he is attentive in conversation, and seems to enjoy deep intellegent conversation with ME, He quotes me sometimes, so I know he is listening to me. He sees many of my strenghts that are RIGHT OUT THERE,and COMMENTS on them. The guy I married..well he didn't notice things a whole lot.

well. I am. There I state it. I'm not "falling" in love. I am IN love....I see all the symptoms--giggles, heart beat picks up a bit...the joy when the one you love ANSWERS the Phone and you hear THAT voice. Looking out the window when you think you may catch a glimps of him. GOT IT. IF I can 't eat something, he won't eat it either, or will doctor it up so I can eat it.
This started sort of by mistake, all good affairs do don't they?

This guys relative worked with me, I went to an after work party, and met HIM. HIM who makes me laugh and thinks I"m just fine when I'm not "ON". Him...who I can be the MOST real with, the most ME with, in good or in bad times. We were just going to be friends, we knew a lot of the same people. Accidently and on purpose showed up at various "friend's" houses, then be surprised when you KNEW the other would be there.
Well.Yah..we were Friends first...then...there has also been...the first tentative KiSS. It was silly and stupid and you would think I wouldn't remember it...but I do. He was walking me out to my car after an event..held my door open...and QUICK kissed me. Right on the lips too. I think I pulled him in a little closer. I wanted More.
Oh well that's past the point of no return.
So then this new guy...well..He likes my kids too. The kids like him. I know...its so BAD to introduce your biological children to one's New love, But I had too. He was going to be hanging around...and I was tired of living pretense. The kids have seen me kissing the new guy, and I'd blown it off often enough that it was just a PECK. But I wanted more. They aren't dumb. They could see the change in me. One of my kids even asked recently, "but you Really LOVE HIM??"...which I thought would be sort of awckward, but it wasn't. YES Dear I REALLY do love him.
I love how he accepts me completly, wether I am sick or bitchy, or snotty or Snooty.
I love how he REALLY thinks of my well being, seemingly before his own...he even has told me if I have nightmares if he's spending the night that I can wake him up and we'll talk about them.
He has supported my wild eyed pie in the God Scheme pie ideas That I think we could do to "Minister" together. I know I know...Kind of early to think about how you can "Minister" with your new love when the old one is still around, but more and more churches are accepting this as our society changes. This new guy...just kills me and makes me laugh...makes me understand that even like NOW when I am SOOO Sick, that i dont have to DO anything...just GET BETTER, that If I Dont GET BETTTER, than all of our naughty plans are brought to nothing. Health is the number one priority .
Oh I gotta bring up the kids again. When the guy I married is Gone...THIS guy...actually makes dinners that the KIDS REQUST!!! How wacko is that!!! If Joy wants mandarin oranges...he'll look to see if we have them...or makes spagettii for WIlliam...he's already Learned that's his favorite.
I' know I'll probably lose friends over this...but I had to get it out in the open. My new guy, I'm going to keep him over the man I married. I like him more, respect him more, cherish him more. He cherishes ME. The other night...he even told me I was "THE B WORD"..and it wasn't Bitch...He told me I was BEAUTIFUL. wow. It's been years since I heard that.
When I was in the hospital...he helped me all he could without it really infringing on his responsibilities. He held me when I was crying, encouraged me, and was loving and kind. He could never stay too long because he was helping me take care of my business on other fronts.
Yep, I love this new guy---who is the Old guy I married , now...even more than before. I feel blessed beyound words.
May each of you cherish your spouses, and be thankful for yours,as I am my New/Old Spouse, Don. I love you Don, and cherish the changes you have made in our marriage, and friendship.

Friday, November 10, 2006


I so want to scream that out. WAIT...why should these awful things happen to me? WAIT...I don't want my kids to be sick!! WAIT....Why should I be in such awful pain??? WAIT...its NOT FAIR. WAIT!!! I don't want to be depressed!! WAIT!!!

"those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength". What an amazing verse to have to revisit in a new portion of my life. I used to concentrate on the STRENGTH"m concentrating onthe "Renew" part.
Thou...who knowest my inwardmost part...renew them.....heal them. Just as my intestines can't handle my own poop, so my heart has been filled with shit. Anger, fear, pissed offed ness.
Yet...I am still told to WAIT on the Lord. I gave up years ago asking WHY. Its just the lot of life. It's a useless question with no proper answer.

I am tired, I am weak, I am without strength, and yet the Lord still says to WAIT on Him? Then I get Renewed? then I get Strength? WIll I ever feel renewed and strong again?
WIll I ever be able to eat without wondering if I am going to puke or be able to poop it out?
What use is it to spend ten days in the hospital when I can't remember a lot of it? Through the veil of pain, and meds a few things stand out. I guess that will have to be another post.