Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Even Jesus had crappy sandals Foamy the Squirrel rants about "name brand shoes" , and if crappy sandals were good enough for Jesus...and how THE MAN..makes you want stuff you can't afford to keep people poor.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Sad story

"I gave up trying to please others a long time ago..and try to focus on what I can live with."

I think this quote I made really bothers me. It may or may not be true..I'm still digesting it.

Another great quote

So Sunday..a few of us female/mom/wiffy types sitting around waiting for the time to go to the Horse drawn cart events...
I say...' I just want to be ADORED'.....

SHE SAYS....oh what a difference...I just "want to be IGNORED" leave me ALONE!!! LOL

Monday, September 18, 2006

Hidden in Plain site

SO the entire "goth night" thing..was a hoot.
I was pulling into a shop, and there was a female and male with stranded vehicle. I rolled down my window..they needed a jump...I said..I"d be back in 10 if they were still there I"d help them.
Son , 12, was Yah Mom..thats what you do..just like when you stopped on the highway to help that guy who's truck ran into a deer..You just help people... she LOOKED at me rather oddly...I thought..Well....she looked at me oddly...LOL..THEN...after I pulled away AWCKKKKK I saw myself in the mirror...and started Laughing..a.s she did NOT see "me" she saw...the white face/black eyed beauty. the theatre...a guy I know well...simply gave me the "once over". I found it really humorous...he simply did NOT look beyond the studded lip/nose/makeup thing. I FREAKED him out when I went up...and Then he finally recognized me. WHOA. I got several lessons fromt that I am still digesting.
How often have I turned away from someone because of how they looked? Ok..well I usually don't but for SOMEONE reading this..yah..that's just not cool. LOL. No "judging the book by its cover" thing!!!

I feel much more bonded to my son...I guess which was the whole point...we stayed out till 2 in the morning..I wore him out!!! YEAHHHHH!!! Went out to eat after the Community theatre play..."COUNT DRACULA"...(evil laugh exhuding...heh heh).

....then his dad is going to the aforementioned ROCK concert with him in a couple weeks, so this getting the idea..well that Maybe I was hip before HE was.

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: .." don't take offense.. I mean you look great and all that..but 'You are NOT GOTH. NOW I on the other hand..:TONIGHT is a chance for me to "be with my people". Hee hee...

Yah and I let him wear his black fingernail polish to school today and take his lip ring. DAMN.....if Oklahoma Baptist College could see me now...I know they'd think i was going STRAIGHT to hell!!.

But..I gave up trying to please others a long time ago..and try to focus on what I can live with.

Hmmn..I May have to ponder that for a while.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Nintendo Fusion Tour kid has somehow talked me into letting him go to a concert at the STATE theater in Detroit..The Nintendo Space Fusion Tour. He has a Mario shirt to wear.

He's going with his Cousin Becky and Uncle Nick. Nick is a computer geek, and WIlliam Loves him.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Blessings and ought not to be

So..I have always taught the urchins to be Happy for whatever they have. They Get it..they tell each other that..especialy when one gets more money, fries or whatever.

I get it. I have been more blessed than I thought possible. God is honestly working, and I sometimes forget that.

I went to the School today (Morey Charter) to work with my daughter's fourth grade class. Their original teacher deep sixed before school started, they have a "permanent" substitute, and they are out of control. 22 pre hormonal kids, thinking they run the show.
I was able to teach the math lesson when the Sub was out of the room. I kept thinking.."and I quit homeschooling for THIS".???? chaos was huge, kids were BRATTY, and the Sub...Frayed. SO much wasted time. People who don't homeschool always say..."What about the sociailization???"....I say...and I experienced today...WHO CARES!! WHy would I want to continue keeping my daughter in such awful conditions.?
I didn't tell her I was planning on coming in and working.
The Principal met with me after School, asked how it was going, and said He was going to be combining the 2 kindergarden classes of 10 each, into one, and the New teacher, just hired is going to be the 4th grade teacher. Here we go again..LAST year...mid year she got a new teacher. Its very frustrating. Principal actually said, "well...Its not like school used to be---It's a Business". Problem is..he's a poor business person, and a worse administrator.
The Head Secratary..(no jokes !!) said it was killing her to watch the school be run into the ground.
I just keep thinking "what next". Where is my Asperger's son going to go to school, I have NO idea how to prepare him for what I DON"T know is or isn't coming!

On the other hand....OY VEY

Pictures I'm trying to post...awwckkk

REunion dot Com

I have been pleasantly surprised by the Reunion Site. I just got an email from Rick. He was my dear buddy for a couple years in school. We did a Lot of things together..(NO NOT SEX) get your mind out of the gutter. He was my confidente',my friend, my band Mate...I was woodwinds...he was drums or sometiems tuba?? I always felt safe around him.

I have thought of him through the years, and prayed for his wealth health and happiness. I have no idea what he is doing. Isn't that how a lot of times life is? People are in your life for a Season, a reason...then float out. Well I dont like it!! I want to KEEP all the people in my life that have added GOOD things to it, made me feel stronger, more beautiful than I am or smarter than I am. Sure..Get rid of the ones that cause grief...yikes..who needs them. ANd FORGETTTTABOUTTT telling me those that "cause tears make you stronger". Believe me, I am strong enough.


I wish I knew how to make these "clickable" but this is the best thing I have veiwed in WEEKS, besides EP's wedding pictures.

I GAURENTTTTTEEEE you will feel better haveing viewed it. It's Not Dirty or sneaky in any way...SAFE for kids!! I think I'll go there again.


Thursday, September 07, 2006

"They say its Your Birthday".....Go on and have a good time

Yep. I never thought I'd be this age.

I don't Feel Old.

I've been kind of out of it. Best quote from the day..came from Robyn dealing with her Mom..."No MOm, You Can't be pregnant...You don't have a Uterus". ...Oh yah...Thank you Altzheimers.

Went to the park tonight..tried to go to the big was too packed. It was sort of weird..NO VERY WIERD..most of my best friends were there....Barb From Mt.Pleasant, Lori and her boys, Beth Ann and her hubby Gerry and ty, Mom, Ray and Terry, Sandy and Corey and Sandy's "little", Pam Trout, kids, Don...yikes!! I thought I was going to Implode.
I'll write more later.

AND got 2 free pizzas from Main street pizza in St. Louis AND Breckinridge.

Fried pickles for Lunch tomorrow at the Pub in ALma with Lori, Pam and hopefully Don!


yep..I'm just documenting that I indeed "Did the Mack"...walked the Mackinaw bridge on Labor day. It was great.
Got up at 5 got up without any fuss, Gerry and Ty were here at 5:15, Waiting on Ron....
Fixed Coffee...sped up to Mackinaw City..made great time...I drove on the way up, Caught the bus to St. Ignace....Weather..could NOT have been better, cool, not scorching!
Called mom from the Bridge, my brother and I try and call her from the weirdest places....airplanes, Jackson prison...and now..I can add ON FOOT from the Mackinaw Bridge.
Ron had made a bunch of sandwiches so we could try and go cheaper...we got great Cheap food (Barbeque and beer) after the walk right at the end of the Bridge. Oh yah....I was SO proud of Joy...she was wonderful...what a trooper. Gerry carried her some of the time, but she was great NO complaining, did the entire thing.

Walked the city. Got fudge, got tired, got a blister.

Drove us out of the city. We went to the 50 foot Jesus In Indian was actually quite cool. HUGE cross in the woods. They have marble kneeling benches, it was the first time in a while I felt the presence of the Holy.

Ron, was really tired, drove for a while, then I took over. A wonderful trip. Plus..when we got home, we had to unload Ron's truck with about 30 bags of carpet from the duplex....and the next day.>BOOM all gone!!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

the power of One..again

So several months ago...I was all over this idea, how ONE person Could make a difference. And IN my life it has been many ONES that have. Just one at a time..LOL today...I'm still trying to get the house in working order, and "all" falls on me.

GF calls...are we doing a party tonight or not. I say..???, She says....??? I say..well hell I"ve got the meat, salad..might as well...So because of me...its a go.

Walk the Mackinaw Bridge tomorrow??? WHY is it UP to ME??? However..I seem to be a motivating force lately...So OK , I'll do it.

UGH. But..We are..7 of us getting up, Leaving at 5:30...Driving to MACKINAW...bus to St. Ignace..Walk the bridge, (Five miles about 2 hours they say), drive back. I have A DD, and a person going to drink beer it should be ok. LOL....Cooler is Packed, pop, juice and beer on ice.

Ok morning will get here too soon. Let's hope I can sleep tonight.

Done Whining

Ok. I'm done whining, that's what happens With two bottles of wine.

What is much healthier in every way..spiritually, mentally, and physically is to concentrate on what we HAVE , not what we don't have. I Pound that into my kids..sometimes I just forget.

SO, what have I done LATELY for myself?? LOL I painted a room, and several doors, scrubbed someone else's kitchen floor (a rental)..hands and knees stuff-, Got a new lease signed, (always nerve wracking),
got started on an antibiotic- I"ve had shots in my Dermatitus or whatever the crap is on my ankles..about a month ago, one of the Injection sites got INfection, so it was NASTY business..therefore I"m hoping that the antibiotic kicks my sore throat as well as the ankle.
We got new carpet installed, so I moved the paino myself...taped off all the new carpet to paint the floor board, but then realized how goofy it was to be doing that When I still couldn't walk into the kitchen because of a PIANO and RECLINER in it.
I"m working on getting the house back in working order. That as a priority helped focus my attentions...
but WHY....does one thing lead to another, the taping,led to washing the wall, led to doing 4 windows, 2 screens, to sweeping the kitchen, to tearing down the dog cage, to moving the piano (pain ano), to to to to....I am trying to get the house back because when it is orderly there is much less stress for the hub. I'm not very good at causing him less stress, but I really do try.

Bugsy, our black lab that died last week, has a golden brother that is available. I just dont want him. One, he's a boy, I like the nurturing of female doggies, I think our family needs a SMALLEr dog...Don doesn't want one at all. That puts the huge wet cold blanket over the whole thing. I won't say what we talked about..But suffice it say he made it quite clear he didn't want one. I must also say the ensuing days..he has said it is a family decision, and so he would go with that. we'll see what lies ahead. (my Birthday is next week so maybe...a nice little breed doggy will be in a basket). Yah. ANd monkey's might fly out of my butt too.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Who's your daddy?

So..Most foster kids at least know who their dad is..wait I take that back. Many know TOO many "daddies" and never their biological Father.

I have never know WHO my dad is. I've had a name on a birth certificate that doesn't mean anything, A "stand in" that is my brothers and sisters's always been a weird point.

I did the classic "kid" thing too..>Dreamed of what life would be like with a real life dad.

Didn't include the drunken rages, the fighting or the anger.

So..I borrow my Brother's dad..they have been estranged for years..and only have a surface relationship..but at least he knows who his dad is.

Daddy daddy
where did you go
why did you leave me
Here alone so
I want to know you
want to know
daddy daddy
did you love me so?

When he found out my mom was pregnant, ...was he happy? probably not. Probably married to someone else. Or a drunk.

At this point..does it matter? does..or I wouldn't still be wondering...what it would be like to have a dad.

My Sister Robyn, found a picture of her dad after he had passed, much in the same way I did of my Uncle. It was the best picture EVER of her captures in film, his Aura, his personality, his vitality..and his Love for her. It is a great picture.

I remember putting "unknown" in some "father" slots as a kid. Then..someone made a big deal about was very embarassing. I was the Odd lot when I was growing up...Divorced child ..Now..My kids are the Odd lots..because they have both wierd is that.
I guess..if the gift I can give to KNOW their father..that's a pretty damn good gift.

by the way...Not having a father, Not knowing who your father was..not growing up with a father..Really sucks.