Saturday, September 26, 2015

Grad Student

I decided with my recent broken leg adventure, that once again, only I am in control of what I do with my life. This of course is influenced by the kids, money, yeah..maybe I am NOT in control of my life.
This recently happened in February of 2015. 
It is on the same leg as I crushed in 1998. the top portion is the "old "L " Plate and screws, the bottom is the L shape and 14 screws I got recently. My ankle is really acting up not liking the new hardware I think I have to blow some sage over it, and try to get it to accept it. NO hardware will ever be coming out. 
While laying in the hospital bed in my living room, I decided to start Graduate School for Counseling. I had two six week classes this summer, and have 3 classes (9 credits which is like carrying 18 undergrad credits) now. 
It's another journey. AND...I feel like I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be and that is the first time in years that has happened. It's not about being "mom" or "Sort of some wife that isn't a wife", its about ME. And...that feels pretty damn strange my friends, pretty strange. 


I don't have a lot of friends. That's ok, just saying it like I feel it. I do have people I can call on. Well hell, to be truthful, I wouldn't have to call them, the calls would be made for me.
Shelly, bottom right, Me, top right, Lori Top Left
This picture is of friends. Lori and I were very close for a long time. We met in  a church "small group" that was meeting at my house at the time in St. Louis. We mentioned "beer" one night...and after that we laughed and had a blast. Something happened, her son got cancer (and lived), at a time when my youngest was diagnosed with Pneumonia (again). There was some break in the friendship, I don't know over what now, but it was renewed once  when we discussed the book "THE SECRET". This book was instrumental in changing the way that many of my "fundamental" friends "saw" the Universe, and God, and how things happen. Great phrases that only now while I'm writing I had forgotten where they came from --"You do not have to create what you want - it already exists"  "

"Your body works like a movie projector, and the film running through the projector is all of your thoughts. What thoughts are you choosing?" 

Anyways, for a while things were ok, now they moved, we moved, life happened, its one of those horrible "oh we have to get together" things, that never seems to make it to reality. It is always disappointing. friend Angie  (not the slightly crazed meth head Angie addicted to Vicodin and Methodone, but the OTHER Angie inserting "Faces Of Meth here, she could have been included : THAT Angie deserves a long post on only her. This is NOT her, but she was losing teeth because of drugs that when one fell out she could blithely say, "Oh, here's another one". 
This OTHER Angie, She is simply amazing. She has taught me so much about being real, and even when I told her some really freaky stuff, didn't freak out. When I think of her, I smile. How cool is that. I can't think of a time that I didn't want to be better around her. One thing is...She simply GETS me. She understands my complex relationship with God, the Universe, the Auras, My Dreams that come true, and how I can still swear and be very spiritual. 
THIS Angie, cracks me up. She is meticulous in her work, which helps me want to be. She is methodical and will keep investigating until she turns over the pebbles that are hidden under the rocks. 
We actually have a pretty long history. As any woman knows, there are defining moments in life. I can say...Hey I knew her "BEFORE" She had kids! BOOM. There it is. That is one thing. We were traveling for a fundraiser and she was "heavy with child". I caught her a couple times out of the corner of my eye, and she was sort of sickly green all around her. Nobody seemed to be noticing that this HUGELY Pregnant woman was in crisis. I don't even know if SHE got it. It was very disturbing. Well, we worked closely together for about 2 years. Then, the gig we had was up and I sort of lost her for a while. 
While delivering food to a shelter, I found her again!! I was volunteering at the food bank, picking up Panera Bread a couple times a week and taking it to various non profits. Angie was the Counselor at one of them. 
We have recently been being more faithful to our friendship, and that makes me happy. It's 5:05 in the morning, I don't think I will sleep tonight, but I"m done writing for now. I'll come back and edit later.