About a year or so ago, a friend from Church Doug called me saying he had gotten himself into a situation.
A C0-Worker, female, was (details are elusive) needing a place to stay, he had offered his 2nd bedroom realized Before she moved in THAT was not a good idea, yet didn't want to just dump her....SO of course...he thinks of me. I use my influence to get her a hotel room for a couple days, then use other "chits" to have someone else cover her for 2 more days. (Salvation Army, etc...ran out of money for this type of thing).
I call her, or she called me the realities don't really matter. I spent several sessions with her (when I say 'sessions' it implies payment which did NOT occur), talking to her about life choices, bad choices, personal responsibility etc, AND...helped her get into a local shelter, with requisite clothing, kitchen stuff etc that I dug out of my garage.
(I could outfit several homes by the crap in our garage, but I'm working on decluttering).
She worked here and there, got beat up by a boyfriend, called sporadically after that. I got her a coat, and some clothes from the Women's Resource Center.
Basically, I helped her out of a pitch and got her at least somewhat settled. Hooked her up with Community Mental Health which of course she said she didn't need..blah blah....
I heard the other day, she died January 31st. She had gotten an apt., it didn't have heat, for some reason (drunk or otherwise), she was outside, scantily dressed, and "fell". Froze to death. Died. Exposure. Did she know God? Was that my job too? Rest in peace Catherine Knight. I hope you have peace. Really. You certainly didn't have much here on earth.
Should I have done more? Should I have stayed involved?
Sorry-I have my own life, my own complications, my own kids, my own responsibilities, and am somewhat overwhelmed most of the time. I didn't have room to keep it up. She was not my responsibility.
Why. do. I. Feel. So. Guilty. for living?.