Sunday, March 02, 2008
What I'm Reading
It's been kicking around my house for MONTHS. I must have just been "ready" for it..
psych / recovery book
Says that..like as kids...when they are abused/neglected...it can "recur" in their minds "enforcing the event to happen again and again" into adulthood, and it takes a CONSCIOUS choice of will to stop the cycle
"the damage to the survivor's faith and sense of community is particularly severe when the traumatic events themselves involve the betrayal of important relationships. The imagery of these events often crystallizes around a moment of betrayal, and its this breach of trust which gives the intrusive images their intense emotional power.
Like...how some Vietnam vets Prefer to work the midnight shift because the night was the scariest...although CONSCIOUSLY they didn't realize it.
.. traumatized people suffer damage to the basic structures of the self. They lose their trust in themselves, in other people and in God
... with severe enough traumatic exposure, no person is immune
.... like kids who have been Kidnapped, or schoolchildren
Sometimes (and adults) feel they need a "lucky charm" to protect them through life.
the lucky charm takes various forms.
the ways that the BEST people cope:
active, task-oriented coping strategies, strong sociability's
STRONG perception of their ability to control their destiny.
child hood abuse resist the belief that it was NOT their fault
persistent attempts to "be good" through out life
perfectionist zeal, desperate need to find favor
inner sense of badness
"unable to form a safe consistent caretaker picture in their minds"
puts the people on "hyper arousal"...or state of confusion, agitation, emptiness, and utter aloneness..."a dark bundle is a step forward, and sometimes I don't' even feel THAT good".
the victims' intimate relationships, are driven by the hunger for protection and care and are haunted by the fear of abandonment or exploitation.
Ordinary interpersonal conflicts provoke intense anxiety, depression or rage.
I can only read a little at a time.