jokes, stupid stuff...

My household is in turmoil, Husband in hospital, kids are gone to Tae Kwon Do Camp, and I'm running my head off. Its not a pretty place. If You are a dear reader, say a whoo hoo to God for me please.

Oh.
and...it's my wedding anniversary.
We've been together 20 years, and married 13 today.
The Elderly Man

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The
following conversation ensues:

Man: ‘I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70
years, many children, grandchildren, and great
grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls,
hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with
each of them three times.’

Priest: ‘Are you sorry for your sins?’

Man: ‘What sins?’

Priest: ‘What kind of a Catholic are you?’

Man: ‘I’m Jewish.’

Priest: ‘Why are you telling me all this?’

Man: ‘I’m 92 years old … I’m telling everybody.’


The Irish Catholic

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’

The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’

The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’

The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again.
For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He
paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that. You didn’t put any money in
the poor box!’

The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as
putting it in!’