Yah..not really the proper thing for a married woman to say is it. Well I"m not very usual I guess ... and I'm getting tired of people guessing they know what is going on with me.
Yes, I am staying with Don because of the kids.
I Suppose this New "affair" as some would call it should be hidden, and done sereptitiously, over coffee and bagels on a side street somewhere. Maybe next to my favorite coffee shop in Saginaw "the Red Eye" next to the tattoo shop.
And no this isn't some rambling about how Jesus is my boyfriend or some whack a doo thing.
When a Married women fesses up to her female friends all atwitter with the juicy tidbits of gossip..it should certainly have lenghty discussions and secretive phone calls some with Text messages. However..I figured I"d put it out here on the blog and friends ( the very unfortunate few that even bother) can read it on here, from me first. Yes. I am a Married woman with kids, and I'm falling or In love with a Man. A man very different from the man I Married. Of course here is the place that the one that is cheating lists ALL the reasons why the "man they married" is no longer good enough, doesn't care, is always working etc....and what the NEW guy HAS....which in my case is: "He genuinly cares for me for my own long term good", he makes me laugh as the man I married USED to make me laugh", he is attentive in conversation, and seems to enjoy deep intellegent conversation with ME, He quotes me sometimes, so I know he is listening to me. He sees many of my strenghts that are RIGHT OUT THERE,and COMMENTS on them. The guy I married..well he didn't notice things a whole lot.
well. I am. There I state it. I'm not "falling" in love. I am IN love....I see all the symptoms--giggles, heart beat picks up a bit...the joy when the one you love ANSWERS the Phone and you hear THAT voice. Looking out the window when you think you may catch a glimps of him. GOT IT. IF I can 't eat something, he won't eat it either, or will doctor it up so I can eat it.
This started sort of by mistake, all good affairs do don't they?
This guys relative worked with me, I went to an after work party, and met HIM. HIM who makes me laugh and thinks I"m just fine when I'm not "ON". Him...who I can be the MOST real with, the most ME with, in good or in bad times. We were just going to be friends, we knew a lot of the same people. Accidently and on purpose showed up at various "friend's" houses, then be surprised when you KNEW the other would be there.
Well.Yah..we were Friends first...then...there has also been...the first tentative KiSS. It was silly and stupid and you would think I wouldn't remember it...but I do. He was walking me out to my car after an event..held my door open...and QUICK kissed me. Right on the lips too. I think I pulled him in a little closer. I wanted More.
Oh well that's past the point of no return.
So then this new guy...well..He likes my kids too. The kids like him. I know...its so BAD to introduce your biological children to one's New love, But I had too. He was going to be hanging around...and I was tired of living pretense. The kids have seen me kissing the new guy, and I'd blown it off often enough that it was just a PECK. But I wanted more. They aren't dumb. They could see the change in me. One of my kids even asked recently, "but Mom...do you Really LOVE HIM??"...which I thought would be sort of awckward, but it wasn't. YES Dear I REALLY do love him.
I love how he accepts me completly, wether I am sick or bitchy, or snotty or Snooty.
I love how he REALLY thinks of my well being, seemingly before his own...he even has told me if I have nightmares if he's spending the night that I can wake him up and we'll talk about them.
He has supported my wild eyed pie in the God Scheme pie ideas That I think we could do to "Minister" together. I know I know...Kind of early to think about how you can "Minister" with your new love when the old one is still around, but more and more churches are accepting this as our society changes. This new guy...just kills me and makes me laugh...makes me understand that even like NOW when I am SOOO Sick, that i dont have to DO anything...just GET BETTER, that If I Dont GET BETTTER, than all of our naughty plans are brought to nothing. Health is the number one priority .
Oh I gotta bring up the kids again. When the guy I married is Gone...THIS guy...actually makes dinners that the KIDS REQUST!!! How wacko is that!!! If Joy wants mandarin oranges...he'll look to see if we have them...or makes spagettii for WIlliam...he's already Learned that's his favorite.
I' know I'll probably lose friends over this...but I had to get it out in the open. My new guy, I'm going to keep him over the man I married. I like him more, respect him more, cherish him more. He cherishes ME. The other night...he even told me I was "THE B WORD"..and it wasn't Bitch...He told me I was BEAUTIFUL. wow. It's been years since I heard that.
When I was in the hospital...he helped me all he could without it really infringing on his responsibilities. He held me when I was crying, encouraged me, and was loving and kind. He could never stay too long because he was helping me take care of my business on other fronts.
Yep, I love this new guy---who is the Old guy I married , now...even more than before. I feel blessed beyound words.
May each of you cherish your spouses, and be thankful for yours,as I am my New/Old Spouse, Don. I love you Don, and cherish the changes you have made in our marriage, and friendship.