I've interviewed a lot. I know how. I'm REALLY good at it. I give pointers. I could give seminars. (note to self: $$?)
But really...a GROUP interview? Now..YOU may think that I misspoke and meant to say a A panel interview--You'd be wrong. A Panel interview consists of more than one set of eyes, 2-4 people interviewing you alone.
THIS interview...there were like SIX of us, and two people from the 'firm'. One, in jeans. This made my suit seem...out of place.
Six..at the SAME TIME. REALLY? Yes, all interviewing for the same spot.
I get the time factor savings for them....they can tell us all about them...get it. I get that it's a human services field. Got it.
Waste of time...and it was over 2 hours.
"Give each group member time and space to answer".
GO: Crying waitress girl: Her nice homemade tattoo sticking out of her too tight black and white smock top: "my parents are alcoholics and I have a lot of druggies in my family"...she begins to cry..I look for the kleenex box as nobody else was. I spied it in the bookshelf. I stand up...get it...give her the box...and say..relax..it's ok...just breathe for a moment" Next answer from waitress crygirl: "well..I can't even TAKE this job as I have young kids and it's an afternoon shift...but I just wanted to MEET you all...".
I about shit myself.
Next: Aging ex Hippie, clean 18 years and wearing it on his sleeve. Getting the shakes from wanting a smoke so badly during interview. It's a Smoke free campus-- how will he do for 8 hour shift? Run out to the end of the driveway? Light up with the clients in the field?...been in the State 2 weeks, "living with a friend"..I'm betting one he met on the internet...(Not that it's bad, I'm just sayin..)
Then...PICK ME PICK ME boy. Sitting on the edge of his chair, leaning into the balls of his feet, just CAN'T wait to answer any question. I thought he was going to raise his hand..and say...OHHH I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION!! Actually 27 years old..just graduated college last August. Honest to Fuck he said..."I'm a People person". I groaned and couldn't wait to text that to my honey after the interview. A PEOPLE PERSON...god spare me from people person's.
Then...Pickme Boy says, "I JUST WANT TO HELP PEOPLE"...
My response was...I'm Not a people person, and I know I can't help anyone...I can only give them the tools to help themselves...
PICKME Boy, actually asked after the interview "were either of you interviewers in recovery?"...and...asked them.."Well how do you get YOUR job satisfaction", as clients are only here for 2-5 days max in detox...then moved along the chain of recovery.
Taxi driver guy...a good pick, very similar to me, Corrections background except he's been clean for 8 years...ex-Marine (Excuse me FORMER Marine as the EX would say-- there are no "EX" Marines).
He wins pretty much with the question that was asked, "Ok We are going to find it out sometime--WHAT IS IT?"
Silence enters the room. I say..WOW THAT'S A GOOD ONE. Silence continues, each pondering how to answer..silly? Light hearted? Wait..this is SERIOUS stuff..
Taxi guy..."I had a brain tumor removed that was the size of a Softball"...Shit. I'm done for. I only was in traction a while and my right side rebuilt..I had to learn to walk again...Tumor? I can't compete with that.
Crying Waitress has left the interview before this question was posed. She..had to start her shift as a waitress.
Me...Yah...Still waiting on that 2nd interview phone call......