Jake Smith, Suicide by Cancer

Jake killed himself. He set it up perfectly. He took care of every detail. He took his brother out to eat the night before.
He cuddled up with his mom, my friend Lori. He pet his doggie Brody, had a picture taken with him.
He entered his bedroom and shot himself.
 Jacob J. Andrew Smith

Funeral Service
Friday, Feb 19, 2016
1:00 PM

Jacob J. Andrew Smith
Born: May 06, 1998
Died: February 13, 2016

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Jacob “Jake” J. Andrew Smith, age 17, of Charlotte, formerly of Ithaca passed away Saturday, February 13, 2016. Jake was born May 6, 1998 in Alma the son of Bradley and Lori (Brecht) Smith. He attended Ithaca Schools until 2012 when they moved to Charlotte. While in Ithaca he enjoyed playing basketball and football. Jake was currently a junior at Grand Ledge High School.

Jake enjoyed playing his guitar and video games. He had a passion for supporting his cancer families that were challenged with childhood diagnosis.

Jake is survived by his parents, Bradley and Lori Smith of Charlotte, his brother, Joshua Smith of Charlotte, his maternal grandparents, Jerry and Sharon Brecht of Riverdale, his paternal grandparents, Clayton and Patricia Smith of Dewitt, his aunts and uncles, Jodi (Ross) Jeffrey of Webberville, Gregory (Melisa) Smith of Flushing, Mark (Terri) Brecht of Riverdale, Jeff (Sheri) Brecht of Elwell and many loving cousins.

A celebration of Jacob’s life will be held on Friday, February 19, 2016 at 1 pm at the First Church of God in Alma with Pastor Steve Wimmer officiating. Interment will follow in Sumner Center Cemetery. Visitation will be held on Friday from 12 pm until the time of services at the church.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Pleural Pulmonary Blastoma Research, 111 Michigan Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20010 or at www.ppbgeneticstudy.org.

To view Jake’s obituary online or to leave a condolence for the family please visit www.luxfuenralhomes.com

SERVICES
Funeral Service
Friday, February 19, 2016
1:00 PM

First Church of God
200 W. Superior
Alma, Michigan 48801

The aftermath as in any unexpected death is worse when it is suicide. The "why's"  take over, the How could I have knowns, what could I have done differently will haunt a family until the end of their days.
Jakes funeral brought together a group of people who had at one time been very close through small groups that met weekly. Lori and I bonded over a statement that I drank alcohol in a predominantly Baptist non-drinking environment. 
Even writing this years later (It is 2020 now) I remember you.
I remember how you were in the very same emergency room as my daughter Joy Linn. Both of you had what we thought was pneumonia, but yours was much worse. The cancer had invaded the lining of your lung. The years of treatment took it out of you. Your parents fought for your life.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

• suicidepreventionlifeline.org

High School Suicide

https://www.charlesrlux.com/obituaries/Jordan-Elise-Rae?obId=12227283#/obituaryInfo


I didn't know this young 16 years old who ended her life. By accounts, she had been researching how to suicide for a couple months. She was very popular and beautiful. She was on the competitive cheer team, and many extracurricular activities. Her stepmom passed away and her mom is hospitalized for undisclosed mental health issues. I may not have all the details correct.
What should have been a small event took over. She 'got caught', aka, willingly took the fall for a couple friends and herself with vaping pens. Vaping is a newer electronic way to smoke or use "dab", oil-based marijuana. Reports are that one of the girls involved told the hall monitor (Her sister) about the girls in the bathroom. Her father, a professional immigrant from South Africa was brought to the school. She went home and was in her room when her dad went fully off on her, screaming and yelling how she had "disgraced" the family. He is from a very shame-based society. While he left her room to cook dinner, she went out to the garage and hung herself. Her dad, looking for her, couldn't find her, called several friends to see if she had been picked up. He later found her, cut her down and tried to do CPR.
Her funeral was a huge deal at the Potter's House Church where she attended. The local High School where she attended class, adjusted exams for the entire school, and released kids for the day.
All of this is horribly sad. A life cut down, lost opportunity, a community grieving.

There was more. Immature inappropriate snap chatting occurred resulting in more hurt feelings and drama. There's nothing so horrific that Social Media can't make it worse. These are not really my stories to tell. Families lives ripped apart. Threats, school and police involvement all make it worse.

Suicide.
I've thought of it before.  Decades ago when I was so abused I literally wasn't thinking straight. I remember sitting on the side of my bed when I had come back to my mom's house wondering, "What should I do next?...Wash my hair or eat breakfast". That broken-down where the simplest decisions are too heavy to bear.
I had lost all that was known to me...a "Godly spouse", the perfect high school sweetheart marriage, and the dream of being better than my mom, a thrice divorcee. This lead me to accept situations later on in life that had I not had this background, I could have made better choices for myself.
When a history of abuse is present, the roots go deep.
I feel for this girls family, for her Cheer mates, her classmates, the counselors at her school, her siblings, her church family, her dad, our community.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

• suicidepreventionlifeline.org