They say it's your birthday..and they'd be right

We as a family..whatever that means, walk the MACKINAW BRIDGE every year. This year...and new pile of kids, Ty one of our regulars backed out at last second, which only meant more room in the 7 passenger van for the 9 of us...LOL.






Yesterday was my birthday. No big deal. It was "meh". I made my own "no Bake Cookie" cake. Had barbeque with the neighbors....and about 120 people 15 of Which I sort of know wished me well on facebook. I laughed. It was Kind of cool.

My son sent me a death metal video...

.Many years ago today something grew
inside of your mother...
That thing was you

YOU

YOU YOU YOU YOU

Did she scream did she cry
Only those that are born are the ones that
Get to die

One more year closer to dying
Rotting organs ripping grinding
Biological discordance
Birthday equals self abhorrence

Years keep passing aging always
Mutate into vapid slugs
Doctor gives a new prescription
Bullet in a fucking gun

One more year closer to dying
Plastic surgeons fuel the lying
You forget why you came in here
Your mind rots with every New Year

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

Happy Birthday
You're gonna die

Now you're old and full of hatred
Take a pill to masturbatred
Children point to you and scream
Because they will become that thing

One more year of further suffering
There's no point of fucking bluffing
Open up your DETHDAY present
It's a box of fucking nothing

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

Happy Birthday
You're gonna die

DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY
DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

Happy Birthday
You're gonna die

On another Note: School opens the Day After Labor Day here in Michigan...Here is my new :"Foster/son/ Exchange Student?/whatever" ....and daughter...



and my Darling CHUBBY 6th grader who is thinning out. ...She was a Preemie..and for years was in 2t clothing, Porked out, and now is thinning out and getting taller!

The JOB interview..a GROUP interview

I've interviewed a lot. I know how. I'm REALLY good at it. I give pointers. I could give seminars. (note to self: $$?)

But really...a GROUP interview? Now..YOU may think that I misspoke and meant to say a A panel interview--You'd be wrong. A Panel interview consists of more than one set of eyes, 2-4 people interviewing you alone.
THIS interview...there were like SIX of us, and two people from the 'firm'. One, in jeans. This made my suit seem...out of place.

Six..at the SAME TIME. REALLY? Yes, all interviewing for the same spot.
I get the time factor savings for them....they can tell us all about them...get it. I get that it's a human services field. Got it.
But really...
Waste of time...and it was over 2 hours.
"Give each group member time and space to answer".


GO: Crying waitress girl: Her nice homemade tattoo sticking out of her too tight black and white smock top: "my parents are alcoholics and I have a lot of druggies in my family"...she begins to cry..I look for the kleenex box as nobody else was. I spied it in the bookshelf. I stand up...get it...give her the box...and say..relax..it's ok...just breathe for a moment" Next answer from waitress crygirl: "well..I can't even TAKE this job as I have young kids and it's an afternoon shift...but I just wanted to MEET you all...".
Really.
I about shit myself.

Next: Aging ex Hippie, clean 18 years and wearing it on his sleeve. Getting the shakes from wanting a smoke so badly during interview. It's a Smoke free campus-- how will he do for 8 hour shift? Run out to the end of the driveway? Light up with the clients in the field?...been in the State 2 weeks, "living with a friend"..I'm betting one he met on the internet...(Not that it's bad, I'm just sayin..)

Then...PICK ME PICK ME boy. Sitting on the edge of his chair, leaning into the balls of his feet, just CAN'T wait to answer any question. I thought he was going to raise his hand..and say...OHHH I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION!! Actually 27 years old..just graduated college last August. Honest to Fuck he said..."I'm a People person". I groaned and couldn't wait to text that to my honey after the interview. A PEOPLE PERSON...god spare me from people person's.
Then...Pickme Boy says, "I JUST WANT TO HELP PEOPLE"...

My response was...I'm Not a people person, and I know I can't help anyone...I can only give them the tools to help themselves...

PICKME Boy, actually asked after the interview "were either of you interviewers in recovery?"...and...asked them.."Well how do you get YOUR job satisfaction", as clients are only here for 2-5 days max in detox...then moved along the chain of recovery.

then
Taxi driver guy...a good pick, very similar to me, Corrections background except he's been clean for 8 years...ex-Marine (Excuse me FORMER Marine as the EX would say-- there are no "EX" Marines).
He wins pretty much with the question that was asked, "Ok We are going to find it out sometime--WHAT IS IT?"

Silence enters the room. I say..WOW THAT'S A GOOD ONE. Silence continues, each pondering how to answer..silly? Light hearted? Wait..this is SERIOUS stuff..

Taxi guy..."I had a brain tumor removed that was the size of a Softball"...Shit. I'm done for. I only was in traction a while and my right side rebuilt..I had to learn to walk again...Tumor? I can't compete with that.


Crying Waitress has left the interview before this question was posed. She..had to start her shift as a waitress.

Me...Yah...Still waiting on that 2nd interview phone call......

fukitol, new drugs to take

What I'm THINKING about...

Or REAALLLLY really Trying to think about:

Today's affirmations are in the areas of - "Relationships"

Relationships:

* I imagine only loving people coming into my life.
* It's safe to have an open heart.
* I deserve loving and nurturing friendships.
* I am in the process of attracting fantastic relationships.
* I am now open to receiving love.
* Love is perfect, love is good for me.
* Love is what I give and receive.
* I find it easy to communicate my needs to others.
* I have wonderful relationships with special people.
* Others are supporting me in loving ways.
* I am playful when meeting others.

Rory Gallagher...

Rory Gallagher - I'll admit you're gone Lyrics
Album:


“I'll admit you're gone”
I'll admit you're gone - when I think I'm able,
Just like in that song, you turned all the tables,
Now I know I'm wrong, life is hard to shoulder,
I won't last too long, each day is getting colder.
Falling constantly, shadows haunting me,
Moving silently, day by day,
Watching hopefully, waiting anxiously,
That you might hear me, someday.
That's what I pray,
That's all I pray,
I'm gonna be ok, it's gonna be okay.

Looking ahead, there's nothing but blue days,
But somehow I keep hanging on.
I should spend time looking for new ways,
'Cos blue days have taken quite a toll.

The journey we were on - can't believe it's over,
I can feel the storm, but I can't run for cover.
Where do I belong I just keep on searchin'?
I want to see the dawn of the day when stop hurting.

Falling constantly, shadows haunting me,
Moving silently, day by day.
Watching hopefully, anxiously,
That you might hear me, someday.
That's what I pray,
That's all I pray,
It's gonna be ok, I'm gonna be okay.

Then, Now

So, the renter at one place, has the CEILING fall in, and never calls me. HOW do I find out??? The INSPECTOR for the annual LICENSE goes through. REALLY? Oh..like having a HOLE in the CEILING is a problem??? No kidding!!
Thankfully, I have a GREAT fix-it guy who can do anything.


This is an older home. The ceiling was loose, and unrepairable as it was. So down came all the old lathe board, and with it, 1/2 ton or so of insulation, boards, and plaster.








Dry wall going up looks Great!!



It's a slow process. Mudding got on and stamped up, tomorrow we prime, and paint.

CONCERT SLIPKNOT

Oh the things you do when you become mom of a teenage boy.

Slightly Overwhelmed

Is "slightly" overwhelmed is possible? no.

School Board huge issues...Huge decision for my family for the future. Nothing is easy. Nothing is cheap.

My daughter Joy...going through huge developmental issues with her.

I guess ISSUES and OVERWHELMED are my words of the day.

I'm having RENTER issues. Oh. There's that word again. Involved in a fix it ...no that "fix it" implies small. This is not small. Every detail makes the project bigger. and BIGGER. How bout HUGE. Yes..this is HUGE. I'm not DOING the work, I'm responsible for it, dealing with an idiot mother of the renter, several handicapped individuals living in it...blocking the main living entrance.

This was the start of a new semester for me this week, teaching 4 classes that I have not taught before. I had a melt down panic attack before class the other day...it was ...an issue to say the least...>Fake it till you make it.

Please tell me..is it WRONG that my most prized possession right now are my 4 dollar pair of plastic sungoggles I use in the tanner????